


The Rising of Dark Slash

by Pomage



Category: Real Person Fiction
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-21
Packaged: 2019-11-01 23:55:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17877197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pomage/pseuds/Pomage
Summary: Nah g





	The Rising of Dark Slash

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Quillan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quillan/gifts).



Ashley: *Exists*   
Elliott: ASHLEY YOU FUCKING EVIL PIECE OF COMMUNIST SHIT I WILL END YOUR FUCKING REIGN OF TERRORISM   
Jon and Quillan: *observes with a h m m m m m m*  
Ashley: Elliott you fool, you cannot extinguish my pure unbridled power. To phase you out of existence would take only 0.0000001% of my power.   
Elliott: Forgive me master, I have to go all out, just this once.  
Elliott’s Master (Quillan): Very well young sparrow, use all the power I have cursed you with. Today you unleash all the energy that lies within you. I christen you, Dark Slash  
Elliott: Thank you master, *draws katana*   
Ashley: You imbecile, your simple Katana cannot defeat my Harry Potter Draco Malfoy fanfic, be EXTINGUISHED, I HAVE TWELVE SCHOLARSHIPS IN HENTAI   
Elliott: *puts on fedora* I have 22  
Ashley: OH GOD NO I CAN FEEL MY POWER FADING AWAY   
Elliott: *With the power of 1000 suns* M ‘ L A D Y   
Ashley: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO 

*Seventeen Thousand Years Later, on the Planet Glitter Force*   
Elliott: In all my years I have never seen such raw POWER   
Jon: ME AND MY MASTER WILL DESTROY YOU, DARK SLASH   
Elliott: BUT JON, YOU WERE MY DADDY-MAN   
Ashley: FATHER?!?!?!?!  
Elliott: NO BITCH YOU DIED   
Ashley: I had a deep desire for… Harry Potter Fan Fiction, and I cannot die until that desire is fulfilled  
Jon: FINALLY, AN INTELLECTUAL ON PAR WITH MYSELF   
Ashley: HA YOU FOOLS I ACTUALLY HAVE A DEEP DESIRE TO HARVEST THE KNEES OF LEE ARENBERG AND HIS HUGE SUCCULENT THROBBING UWU’S HEEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
Jon: No, you’ve deceived me. You trickster, you cretin, you exposed me and vanquished me as a liar. *turns to dust and dies*  
Quillan The Sexy Demon Furry: ૮( ऀืົཽु ˙̫̮ ऀืົཽू)ა✧ x3 nuzzles pounces on you uwu you so warm   
Elliott: Master, you know I cannot refuse you. However I fear that now is not the time, we have to defeat Ashley once more or she will envelop and vore the entire universe.  
Quillan: Yes ywoung spawwow, nwo is nowt the twime fwor the wituwal. Wou mwst destory the mwonster ownce mwore.  
Elliott: Master, together we have to defeat this mistress of evil. Ashley is the manifestation of all that is wrong in the world.   
(Intense sword fight between Elliott and Ashley)  
Ashley: How is it that you are so powerful.   
Elliott: FOOL! You are ignorant of my story, my trials and my suffering. Years ago my family was killed. Everyone I’d ever known died. I was all that was left. Quillan, the demon furry took me in. He cursed me with infinite power and knowledge, now I must follow his orders, while he trains me to use these abilities. But I don’t care about my family anymore, I don’t care about anything.   
Ashley: Not even at 100% of my power can I defeat you. I’m not nearly strong enough. But I know who is. *summons Karl Marx*  
Elliott: *teleports behind Ashley* Fool, you let your guard down. It’s nothing personal kid *kills her*  
Ashley: Dark Slash, NO, you’ve killed me. But I will be back, I cannot be defeated.   
Karl Marx: Dark Slash, the evil of capitalism will fall under the crushing might of the communist revolution *splits into 1000 smaller Karl Marx's that are perfectly equal*  
Elliott: Oh god no, master, I cannot go on. Communism will defeat me here.   
Quillan: No young spawwow, you need onwy to go aww out, i cuwsed you with this powew because onwy you have the stwength to ovewcome puwe eviw. Do not faiw me now. UwU  
Elliott: Yes, master. I will defeat this evil. *draws katana* Karl Marx, your evil was your undoing. Now perish, as all communists do.   
(screen goes black and loud sword slashes can be heard, the screen lights up once again to show Dark Slash covered in blood and a hundred dead Karl Marx’s litter the floor) 

(Out of absolutely fucking nowhere, a Doctor appears)   
Elliott: Give it to me straight Doc   
Doctor: Well Dark Slash… You have…   
*The ground begins to rumble, shaking the earth, so powerful not even Senpai Trump could top it*   
Doctor (Super Saiyan): A I D S   
Elliott: I saw this day coming… I must go to the Planet My Little Pony once more to cleanse myself of all impurities and study the ways of the weeaboo   
Phil Swift: uwu flex me daddy   
Elliott: Not now, internet sensation Phil Swift, for I must find the sacred Shirt of Ahegao to access the Planet My Little Pony once more   
Phil Swift: Very well daddy, then you must go to my closet for you can borrow mine 

*0.0000084 seconds later*   
Elliott: Finally! THE SHIRT OF AHEGAO! And a lot of Phil’s sister’s underwear. Odd.  
Phil Swift:... OWO UWU OWO   
Elliott: Now I can utilise this ancient artifact’s power to travel to the Planet My Little Pony   
Jon: HA HA, DARK SLASH! WE MEET AGAIN!   
Elliott: *Gasp* xX_HentaiDaddy69420XD_Xx!   
Jon: YES, IT IS I, xX_HentaiDaddy69420XD_Xx! Quiver your thighs sexually before my Hentai Cap!   
Phil Swift: No Papa! I will protect you from such evil power! (jumps between Elliott and Jon then dies)  
Elliott: Dang.  
Jon: Mwahahahaha   
Elliott: You monster! Internet Sensation Phil Swift will not die in vain... but to defeat you I must go back to my old ways, which I swore I would never revisit   
Quillan: Now, my padawan, go once more and use your might to defeat such pure filth   
Elliott: If you insist, master… *puts on Ahegao Fedora* *with the power of every weeaboo that ever came into existence* M ‘ L A D Y *light shines behind him, blinding the entire universe, a third eye appears on his head that projects hardcore hentai onto the wall like a projector*  
Jon: NOOOOO! *Instantly turns to ash* *Earth splits in two*  
Elliott: Dang.   
Quillan: Dang  
World:...Dang  
Bappo: Don’t worry chappos, I can fix this with a yappo. Bappo protec and Bappo attacko, but most of all Bappo fixo. *World comes back together*  
Jon: *From the afterlife* Dang  
Elliott: By the ahegao, the world is saved, thank you bappo.


End file.
